i'm a slow motion accident. . .

Imogen Heap "Wait It Out"

Where do we go from here?
How do we carry on?
I can’t get beyond these questions…

Clambering for the scraps in the shatter of us collapsed
that cuts me with every could-have-been

Pain on pain on play repeating
with the backup, makeshift life in waiting

Everybody says time heals everything
but what of the wretched hollow?
The endless in between
are we just going to wait it out?

There’s nothing to see here now,
turning the sign around
We’re closed to the earth ‘til further notice

A stumbling cliched case,
crumpled and puffy faced
Dead in the stare of a thousand miles

All I want, only one, street level miracle
I’ll be an out and out, born again, from none more
cynical

And sit here cold, we will be long gone by then
In lackluster, in dust we layer on old magazines,
fluorescent lighting sets the scene
for all we could and should be being
in the one life that we’ve got

And sit here
Just going to wait it out
And sit here cold
Just going to sweat it out
Wait it out

It may not have technically been a breakup, but this is the perfect song right now.

The last time we kissed

“ Okay. The man I love has a wife and then he chooses her over me. Then the wife takes my dog. Well, she didn’t actually take my dog. I gave it to her. But I didn’t mean to give it to her, I meant to give it to him, and that doesn’t change the fact that she’s got Derek. And my McDog. She’s got my McLife! What have I got? I can’t even remember the last time we kissed. Because you never think the last time is the last time. You think you have forever, but you don’t. Plus my conditioner decided to stop working and I think I have brittle bones. I need something to happen. I just need a sign. I need a reason to go on. I need some hope, and in the absence of hope, I need to stay in bed and feel like I might die today. ” - Meredith, Grey’s Anatomy

Knitting

DEREK: “Come on, have a drink.”
MEREDITH: “I can’t have a drink, I’m celibate.”
JOE: “You mean sober? She means sober.”
MEREDITH: “No, I mean celibate. I’m practicing celibacy. Drinking does not go well with celibacy because it makes everything and everyone seem kind of porn-y. Then my head gets all cloudy and the next thing you know I’m naked. My point is that I’m celibate, and knitting is good for surgical dexterity, so I’m making a sweater.”
DEREK: “You? Celibate? I don’t buy it.”
MEREDITH: “No more men.”
ADDISON: “No more men? Really? You? I’m just asking, because we’re friends.”
MEREDITH: Every guy I meet turns out to be married.
DEREK: “Oh… ouch.”
MEREDITH: “Or Mark.”
ADDISON: [walks away] “Okay, I’m going to sit over there now.”
MEREDITH: “Sorry. Or, remember the horrible thing I did? Remember George?”
DEREK: “You’re making a sweater.”
MEREDITH: “I’m making a sweater.”